How to Pray

In all the prayer forms which we use, it will help to follow these general instructions. They are a way to prepare yourself for entering into prayer and to conclude it. If followed, they will make your prayer both easier and more profitable. We begin with the “three r’s” which ease us into any form of prayer:

Relax. Take a break from whatever you are doing. Either walking around or sitting, or in any other position which relaxes you, put aside all other thoughts, worries and feelings, all unfinished business, anything and everything you are working on.

Remember: be conscious that you are in the presence of God, that He is watching and listening, ready to hear you and help you pray. Recall what you are about to pray over, and what you are seeking in this prayer. Then…

Make a physical gesture of Reverence (bow your head, or put your hand on your heart, or kneel — just use body language to acknowledge that you are in the presence of God) and then ask God to help you pray. Ask Him to give light to your mind, love to your heart, and courage to your will to hear and respond to all He says to you in prayer. And be specific about asking Him for any particular grace you are seeking in this period of prayer: for example, to comprehend and conform your heart more to the words of the Our Father; to understand and embrace the spirit of the Commandments, etc.

Then enter into your prayer according to whatever method you are using. Take any body position which helps you.

Finally, at the end of any period of prayer, close by speaking to God for a few moments in your own words. Call Him by name (Father, Son of David, Savior, etc.) and ask Him to be for you what you have seen in your prayer and to let you be and do for Him what you desire.

Print this prayer

Give about ten minutes a day to this. You can do it in your shower!

God interacts with us in countless ways all day long, and especially when we pray. He inspires, invites, guides and cautions us. But he doesn’t shout or shove; he nudges and whispers. God respects our freedom too much to identify himself openly as God speaking until he knows we want to hear what he says. All we have to do to ignore him is just not listen very hard. The Awareness Exercise is a way to listen, to identify God’s action in our hearts and our response to it.

To begin, pause for a moment, clear your mind, recall the presence of God and ask God to help you.

Now,  get in touch with your feelings. Feelings are never good or bad, because they are not free acts. But they can be useful to tell us which way the wind is blowing in our hearts, and the wind may be the Holy Spirit. So look for any change you have experienced in your feelings during the day or during the prayer you have just made. “How did I feel when I began this day or meditation? How do I feel now? Did my mood change at any moment? Was it because of some thought I had? Did I make a choice I feel good about? Or do not feel at peace with? Has any thought been bugging me? Is there something I need to reconsider, look at more deeply?”

Next, make a judgment about the source of these feelings. Is there some obvious natural explanation? Or is God perhaps assuring you that you are on course by giving you peace, or disturbing your peace to warn you that you are getting off course? Have the courage to take a stance toward the decisions and choices of the day, to decide they were right, wrong or doubtful. You don’t have to be absolutely certain, but come to a decision and see if you feel at peace with it.

Then speak to God about what you are going to do now. Look to the future. Change any choice God is asking you to change.

Take a deliberate stance of faith, encouragement, love. Ask Jesus to be your Way. Surrender to him.

Print this prayer

This is the traditional Christian method for meditating on Scripture or on anything else. Simply, the method is to confront something and ask questions about it until we come to a decision that affects our life. It is that simple. Anyone who is willing to make decisions can do it. Only people who dodge decisions fail.

These steps activate the basic human powers of memory, intellect and will. But prayer is not just a human exercise. So first we pause for a moment, clear our minds, recall the presence of God and ask God to help us. Then we begin.

Memory serves up the material. This step may begin with reading, since writings are just recorded memory. The key is to actually confront some line or thought that strikes us. Stop; notice what it says. Focus on it to mine it for meaning.

Intellect works by asking questions and trying to answer them. We ask what is said; why; what it challenges us to do; how we can respond; why we want to respond or why not. The questions should be questions that lead to action: “What action would express belief in what I have seen? Hope that God will help me? Love for the God who asks?” As we ask questions, God helps and inspires us.

Will is the power of free choice. Choices are the goal of our prayer. By choices we give shape to our souls. To believe, hope and love are choices. So are concrete decisions to do things that express faith, hope or love. To be sure you are being real, make at least one decision to do something so concrete you can close your eyes and see yourself doing it.

We conclude our reflection by talking to God in our own words about what we have seen and what we desire to do about it. We ask God to help us. We can end with an Our Father, Hail Mary, or some other prayer.

Praying over Scripture simply means reflecting on the Word of God until we reach decisions that change our life.

Print this prayer

Lectio Divina is a Latin term that means “divine reading.” It is a method for gradually letting go of our own agenda and opening ourselves to what God wants to say to us. In the 12th century, a Carthusian monk named Guigo described the stages that he saw as essential to the practice of Lectio Divina.

The first stage is lectio (reading). Read the Word of God slowly and reflectively so that it sinks in. Any passage of Scripture can be used for this way of prayer but the passage should be short.

The second stage is meditatio (reflection). Think about the text you have chosen and dwell on it so that you take from it what God wants to give you.

The third stage is oratio (response). Leave your thinking aside and simply let your heart speak to God. Your reflection on the Word of God will inspire this response.

The final stage is contemplatio (rest). Let go of your own ideas, plans, and meditations and don’t feel compelled to have words and thoughts. Simply rest in the Word of God. Listen at the deepest level of your being to God who speaks within you through stillness and silence. As you listen, you are gradually transformed from within. This transformation will have a profound effect on the way you actually live, and the way you live is the test of the authenticity of your prayer. You must take what you read in the Word of God out into your daily life.

These stages are not fixed rules of procedure but simply guidelines to help you understand the way this kind of prayer normally develops. Its natural movement is towards greater simplicity, with less and less talking and more listening. Gradually the words of Scripture begin to dissolve and the Word is revealed before the eyes of our heart.

(Adapted from What is the Lectio Divina? in www.ocarm.org)

Print this prayer

This is another kind of meditation that uses the power of imagination. In some ways it is like daydreaming. The key is to get started in an imaginary encounter with Jesus and let things develop spontaneously.

The process here is simply to enter imaginatively into some scene from Scripture and then “do what comes naturally.” Look at who is there. Hear what they say. Observe what they do. Enter into the action. Be yourself. Respond to Jesus, or to anyone else, as you feel moved. Say and do whatever comes spontaneously. This form of prayer has something in common with daydreaming, role-playing and psycho-drama: it consists in getting involved imaginatively in a situation with Jesus, then seeing what spontaneously develops. Reflect on what you see and do. See what significance it has for you.

Preamble:

• Pause for a moment; clear your mind; recall that you are in the presence of God. Make a physical act of reverence (for example: bow, touch your heart).
• Ask God to direct all your thoughts, desires and choices.
• Read the passage you are going to meditate on.
• In your imagination put yourself on the scene. You can take the role of one of the people involved, be a bystander, or just be yourself. For example, in the story of the Magi (Matthew 2:1-12) you can be one of the wise men and go through the experience of responding to the star with them. Or in the story of the wedding feast of Cana (John 2:1 – 12) you can be the host who didn’t have enough wine. In the story of the Call of Simon (Luke 5: 1 – 11) you can be one of the fishermen on a different boat that didn’t catch anything that night. In the story of the Healing of a Deaf Man (Mark 7: 31 – 37) you can be someone in the crowd who is too afraid to ask Jesus for healing.
• Ask Jesus to give you the specific grace you are asking for in this meditation

Steps: You will probably do this naturally. We only separate the steps to help you get back on track if you become distracted or stalled.

1. Look at the persons on the scene. For example, see the Magi, the expressions on their faces, where they are, what is around them. Look at the star with them.
2. Listen to what they are saying (and thinking!). For example, imagine the discussion the Magi are having about the star. Listen to them explaining to their wives the trip they are about to make.
3. See what they do. For example, imagine the Magi making their decision, praying, packing the camels. Try to sense their feelings.
4. Conclusion:

Talk to God in your own words about what you have seen and want to do. Ask help. End with an Our Father, Hail Mary, or some other prayer. Then make the Review of Meditation.

Print this prayer

Whenever we have a deep conversation with a friend, the first thing we do when we separate is look back and ask ourselves, “What went on there? What happened in that conversation?”

Times spent in prayer are like deep conversations with God. When we finish, we should take a few minutes to look back and ask, “What went on between myself and God? How do I feel about it? What moved me? What ‘turned me on’ or ‘turned me off’? What did I see, understand better or appreciate more? What will be different in my life now?

This is a good time to write your reflections in a journal.

Print this prayer

Use the Preamble.

This prayer is closer to the traditional meaning of “contemplation” than any other method we have seen. It is a more passive, less active form of prayer. It consists essentially in just being consciously aware of something before God — like a cat sitting motionless before a door, waiting for it to open. We might just rest in awareness of God’s love for us, of His power, or of His presence. We might just be in His presence aching with desire. We are not going through a reasoning process; we are not speaking words (unless perhaps occasionally a single word or short phrase, like “Lord, help me!” or “Who am I? — Who are you?”).

We are not trying to find any answers or come to any decisions.  We are just in the presence of God, absorbing truth, goodness, love, and projecting our need and desire.

To help us enter into this prayer, we should follow the instructions given for the Preamble, but for affective prayer to be what it should be body position is of particular importance. When we are not expressing ourselves through words, and not occupied in a process of thinking or choosing, it helps very much if the body itself is expressing the attitude or desire which we wish to sustain in our prayer. A couple in love, for example, can remain silent together comfortably for long periods if they are sitting with their arms around each other, whereas without the body contact they might feel a need to “say something.” When our prayer is just a conscious being with God, an expressive body position relieves us of the necessity to speak.

Print this prayer

This form of prayer consists in saying a short phrase — perhaps even one word — over and over. Through repetition, the content of the phrase should pass from the lips to the head to the heart, and thus become an abiding attitude in one’s stance toward life and God. There are three ways this can be practiced:

• The phrase can be repeated over and over in one session of prayer. When this is done, the words are coordinated with breathing in order to establish a rhythm. For example, half the phrase can be recited (mentally) while breathing in, the other half while breathing out. Or one word (or unit that goes together: e.g. “the grace… of Our Lord… Jesus Christ”) can be said with each breath. As the words are recited, the mind dwells on their meaning and the heart savors them appreciatively.

• The phrase can be recited frequently throughout the day, in order to remain conscious of the theme of the day. This form of prayer, called in Christian tradition “the Jesus prayer” or sometimes “ejaculatory prayer,” is useful for countering temptation or acquiring some habitual attitude of heart. For example, to say frequently throughout the day, “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you” is a way to fight off anxiety and grow in trust in God. Said frequently enough, the phrase can become a refrain in one’s head and an abiding orientation of one’s heart.

• The two ways can be combined: one can recite the phrase prayerfully over and over during a period of prayer, then try to keep reciting it prayerfully throughout the day.

Print this prayer

The difference is that he recommends using the rhythmical method described under #1 of the mantra on each word or sense-unit of some common prayer — for example, saying one word of the Our Father with each breath, and in the time between each breath concentrating on the meaning of the word, or on the person being addressed, or on one’s own lowliness and need, etc. In this way one can go through a whole prayer or several prayers during the time set aside for this exercise.

Print this prayer

This method consists in going through some common prayer, reflecting on the meaning of each word. It is not a rhythmical prayer, because the reflection is not coordinated with breathing. The idea is to spend as much time as is profitable trying to understand more clearly, appreciate more deeply, embrace more fully, the meaning of each word or phrase of a prayer like the Our Father, the Creed (Profession of Faith), the prayers of the Eucharistic liturgy or of some other ceremony (like marriage or baptism), etc.

The purpose of this is double:

First, it helps us to appreciate better the meaning of these prayers and experience more devotion in them when we recite them, whether alone or during worship services with others.

Secondly, it deepens our understanding and appreciation of the fundamental Christian beliefs and attitudes expressed in these prayers which are held in such high regard by the believing community. This helps us to grow in union of mind and heart, both with Jesus and with the community. (See St. Ignatius, The Spiritual Exercises, “Second Method of Prayer”).

Print this prayer

This is a very easy and profitable form of prayer which helps us to purification of heart — which is the foundation on which all prayer or growth in the spiritual life is built.

It consists in spending about a minute on each of the Ten Commandments (you will find them in Exodus, chapter 20:1-17 and Deuteronomy, chapter 5: 6-21), reflecting on their meaning and goal, and on your own observance of them.

This is not just an examination of conscience or inventory of sins committed. It can be that also, of course, but the goal is to come to a deeper appreciation of the spirit behind each commandment: what desire in God’s heart is expressed in this commandment? To what state of mind and heart is the observance of this commandment meant to lead us? How could you sin against the spirit of the commandment, even though you kept the letter of the law?

For example, the First Commandment says, “I am the Lord, your God. You shall not have other gods besides me.” Granted that you have never worshipped an idol, what competes with God in your life? What keeps God from being All to you? Is Jesus the “Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End” in your desires, your planning, your priorities? (See Revelation 22:13)

Or, “You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain”: Aside from cursing (worth looking into, nonetheless!), how have you shown disrespect for anything or anyone that bears God’s name, reflects His beauty, is created in His image? What about reverence in church and outside of church for all persons and things? Does your language, your dress, your behavior, your body language express this reverence?

In this prayer you can dwell on any one Commandment as long as you are getting thoughts about it or feeling devotion. But if you begin to get distracted, or no thoughts come within a minute or so, move to the next one. (If you see that you have fallen short in your observance of any Commandment, you might say an Our Father before moving to the next, just to ask pardon and help for the future. (See The Spiritual Exercises, “First Method of Prayer.” This method can be used on the Commandments, on the seven Capital Sins, on the on the way you use your five senses or your powers of memory, imagination, intellect and will, etc. It can also be used to pray over the gifts and fruits of the Holy Spirit: see Isaiah 11:2-3 and Galatians 5:22-23).

Print this prayer

Use this one without a Preamble.

A “rinky-dink prayer” is a request for something too unimportant to bother the Almighty about:

• “Lord, help me find the dime I just dropped.”

• “Lord, let the light stay green.”

• “Lord, help me remember that phone number.”

• “Lord, let me smile at this idiot.”

• “Lord, help me find a parking place.”

This is a prayer form which consists essentially in asking Jesus to do all those “little things” for you that you would only ask a close friend to do — all day, every day. It is a way to treat Jesus as “Emmanuel — God-with-us.”

The characteristics of “rinky-dink prayer” are:

• the request is normally for something unimportant (this is how you experience Jesus as your friend: for important things you can go to God as God);

• it is not a request you get desperate about. As soon as you say, “Lord, please ! I’ve got to get this car started!” it is not a rinky-dink prayer anymore;

• you never give Jesus a reason for answering your prayer. Don’t say, “Lord, please get this person off the phone; I know you want me to get to church on time.” Just ask Him. Let Him do it because He is your friend, and because friends like to do favors for friends. Take His friendship for granted.

Try to remember to thank Him afterwards!

Print this prayer

Print this prayer