The Responsorial Psalm is a cry of hope: “Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned” (Psalm 51). 

Numbers 12: 1-13 takes up one of the greatest problems in ministry: envy. Miriam and Aaron were envious of Moses’ place in the community, so they began to speak badly of him. The Lord reacted with vigor.  

Although even Scripture uses the words interchangeably, we need to distinguish envy from jealousy. We are “jealous” when others’ success makes us feel bad because we want what they have. Jealousy is more feeling than a choice, and it is not very serious. But we are envious when, because we can’t have what others have, we don’t want them to have it either, and work against them. This is the sin of the devil, who, deprived of good himself, wants no one else to have it. Envy is a positive choice to work against God in order to aggrandize self. It is not just putting self-interest ahead of ministry, like laziness, avarice, or self-indulgence. It is to side positively with the devil against God. 

In a faith community, envy is an aggressive virus that must be stopped cold. But even then, we must show compassion and gentleness, as Moses asked God to do for Miriam. All sins, our own or others’, should be for us an incentive to ask God for mercy with confident hope: “Be merciful, O Lord, for we have sinned.” 

In Matthew 14: 22-36 there may have been a touch of self-seeking in Peter’s request to walk on the water. Maybe he thought it would prove something if he had enough faith to do that. It was still heroic faith and love, because, like Abraham leaving everything with faith in God’s promise, he was willing to risk his life to go to Jesus and see if he was real. And any self-esteem he found in walking on water was quickly frightened out of him. As the danger he was in came home to him, his “faith in his faith” weakened, and he began to sink. Then he put faith in Jesus alone and was saved. 

Some self-seeking is inevitable in ministry. We do, at times, see people coming to life as we give them love, even in small ways, like a smile and a friendly word at the check-out counter. But more often, even when we are fruitful, we have an overwhelming sense of our helplessness. We feel ourselves sinking in the hopelessness of a situation and of our own inadequacy. Ministry will incite us to call out constantly to Jesus, “Lord, save me — and those I am trying to save.” And Jesus will “stretch out his hand.” After all, the whole point of the Gospel story is that Jesus is with us always, even when he seems as unreal as a ghost.  

Initiative: Be a priest. Don’t add up your triumphs. Look up to Jesus.  

— Fr. David M. Knight

View today’s Mass readings, Lectionary #408, on the USCCB website here

Fr. David M. Knight (1931-2021) was a priest of the Diocese of Memphis in Tennessee, a prolific writer, and a highly sought after confessor, spiritual director, and retreat master. He authored more than 40 books and hundreds of articles that focus primarily on lay spirituality and life-long spiritual growth.